Monday, April 18, 2016

I Have a Problem...

For the past 12 years now I've had a bit of a health problem. Now many people wouldn't notice because of the nature of the problem, but it has haunted me ever since it first appeared. I have a heart problem...

The specific heart problems I'm talking about is premature ventricular beats (PVC) and atrial tachycardia. Before I had these heart episodes, I don't recall having skipped or a racing heart beat at all. It kind of came out of no where. I would be running down the field in a soccer game or making a horrible shot in basketball and suddenly it felt like a fish was inside my chest flopping around like it was out of water, but like a hummingbird fish. It would go so fast that it felt like I was running 10 marathons, at full sprint, all at once...and occasionally run into some speed bumps. That's about as good of an explanation that I can give. It's a very strange feeling.

Since then I started taking a medication (beta blocker), seen multiple heart doctors, been to the hospital a couple of times and have almost daily skipped beats with the rare, racing heart beat that usually pops up at the most inconvenient of times. It has come to the point where I just get frustrated after an episode and get mad at myself for not being able to control what my body is doing...even though I have very little understanding of what is going on. For the past couple of years I've just brushed it off and have tried to act like nothing was wrong, until recently when they have affected my every single move. I bend down to pick up a crumb of food, BAM! multiple skipped beats. I get out of bed too fast, BAM! can't catch my breath because my heart rate shoots up. I get nervous over the most menial tasks because I'm afraid that my heart is going to go into a crazy rhythm. Adrenaline starts shooting through my body and I just feel like I'm vibrating. That then creates more skipped beats and then the cycle begins. I sound like a nervous wreck and I am. It's making me so forgetful, so self-centered, quick to anger, quick to doubt everything...it's a pretty crappy lifestyle.

When this all started back in high school I had ways of coping with my heart anxiety. I would play video games, watch a funny show, go on a walk, talk to my brothers...these are starting to become less helpful. Sometimes they only make it worse. I haven't even been able to sleep more than 3 hours the past couple of months. Waking up in a cold sweat has been very common and I even went into SVT (supra-ventricular tachycardia) a couple of times.

For a short time though I never thought about my heart. During my mission I don't think it was ever an issue. I remember two specific instances where my heart went into a weird rhythm, but I never thought about it afterwards and just brushed it off. The first couple of years being married presented no problems either. I don't recall even one episode. I don't even think Chelsey knew how much it had affected my life, especially during high school. Not many do.

It was a crippling fear during my teenage years. I did my best to keep it hidden because I didn't want to bring attention to myself. I would usually run to the bathroom if something started happening or try and wait it out while in a classroom by drawing shapes on a piece of paper. I became a recluse when I was invited to parties and would make up an excuse not to go. Having an episode while away from the comfort of my home was a nightmare. Luckily those times are gone and the future is starting to look bright because finally, I have some answers.

In February of 2016, I had an event monitor (one of many over the years) strapped onto my body to detect abnormal rhythms whenever I pushed a button on said monitor. After I gave the monitor back to the electrical heart doctor (electrophysiologist), he determined I had something called focal atrial tachycardia, a form of SVT that he saw on the monitor. Although I don't think this is exactly my condition, I do think is a piece of it and it can be cured. The problem that can be fixed is the random racing beats. The ones that I've had while just showering in the morning or by standing up. Now I don't know about the multiple PVC's. It usually happens when exercising or while exerting force, but my heart is a stubborn fella and won't act up when I need it to to find out the exact cause of them...go figure! It's definitely the scariest thing and the most inconvenient problem I have. It has stopped me from doing the things I love and seeing the people I care most about. It haunts me every day and I haven't been able to get away from it.

I don't know if I'll ever get over my heart problems. I mean I think about it constantly. After all, it is my heart and is keeping me alive every second. Having it skip hundreds of times isn't the most calming thing one could experience. At one point in my life I didn't think I'd make it to my 17th birthday because of skipped beats. It really was a nightmarish life and I don't want to ever be in that state of mind ever again.

Hopefully people will understand where I'm coming from. I'm not depressed or hate the position I'm in. I don't want people to feel bad for me. Worse things have happened to many other people I know and I have so many things to be grateful for in my life. I know I've been given things to make me stronger and to understand what it feels like to be at your lowest and most vulnerable point in life. I know that trials come and hard things happen to everyone, but you can't lose faith. That's where I'm coming from.

Prayer has been my constant and is what gets me through the toughest of times. My senior year of high school soccer is an example of the greatest blessing I've seen through prayer and I will never doubt that. I was also protected on my mission and given the strength to do things I should never have been able to do because of it. Today it is what pushes me forward and brings me strength.

One of my favorite scriptures is in Luke 12 as Christ talked to his disciples and says, "Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith? And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.I know Heavenly Father is looking out for me. He knows my needs and understands my situation.

After a tough soccer game where I would have lots of skipped beats or an episode, I would turn on "Consider the Lilies" sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and listen to it on the bus ride home. It truly helped me in my time of need and made me realize how much love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for each and every one of us. Singing this song in the MTC choir was just another prayer answered and a miracle performed in my life, testifying to me the truthfulness of that scripture. "...your Father knoweth that ye need of these things." "Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom."


I might never be completely cured of my heart condition and I understand that. I have a problem and it might stick with me for the rest of my life. But as I actively make changes in my life to better tolerate my heart and seek for that spiritual guidance that has proven time and time again to be my foundation, I know that I'll be able to push it aside and look onward.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Weird Things That Did/Still Scare Me

I, like many people, have a strange imagination. That imagination, although great in some areas, can do some crazy things to my brain. As a kid I would make up the strangest things and believe in even stranger things. Like octopuses living in Arizona lakes or pianos being played by puppets in the night. To this day these things still pop up in my head and give me a pretty good scare, so I decided to make a little list (in no particular order) of those things that use to/ still scare me.

Pool Vacuums


Something about how these things move under water just gives me the heebie jeebies. They never had a set course and would turn on a dime when you got next to them...for some reason. It's like they wanted to eat me.

Open Water


This applies to any open body of water. The ocean is the worst, but I haven't had too many experiences with it. The lake was a common place in my childhood and I would never let my feet stand still in the water for too long. I KNEW there had to be some octopus or giant squid at the bottom of Saguaro Lake because I always felt this slimy hand grab me when I went knee boarding. Oh, and I got really good at that knee boarding stuff because I knew if I fell off, I would get pulled under.

All of E.T.


This movie made absolutely NO SENSE to me as a kid and I think that's what scared me the most. Why did Elliot leave E.T. in his room? He's an ALIEN! What the heck would E.T. do with a telephone? Is everyone around Elliot that stupid that dressing E.T. up would distract them from seeing that he's hideous and looks nothing like a person...or a doll. Why is everyone afraid of the people in white suits? Seriously though. And that scene when Elliot, plant and E.T. start dying will never leave my brain. Dead E.T. is nightmare E.T.

Temple Guards


These fellers were on a great show called Legends of the Hidden Temple. It was a fantasy of mine that I would get picked to go on this show and finally make it all the way to the end of the obstacle course. BUT!! There were these temple guard guys that would randomly jump out at you in the course and if they caught you, your run ended. What made them scary was that they had these creepy masks that made them look lifeless, which would result in poop stains on my underwear.

Tiki Masks


Speaking of masks, my grandma had a mask very similar to the one in this picture that my uncle would wear to scare the little ones. I was one of those little ones and I was definitely scared of it. I would try to play it off like it was just a mask, but it held this weird poop stain/lifeless fear just like the temple guards had. This picture doesn't do the creepiness justice either. Imagine some eyes moving in those two holes at the top and you've got a sleepless night ahead of you.

Basements/Going up Stairs at Night


I think Home Alone ruined my idea of basements. Now there were a lot of kids that I knew that thought basements were a little freaky, so it's not uncommon...but I still hate them. The worst thing about them though is going up the stairs to the main floor. Running up them was the only way I wasn't going to get snatched by someone lurking in the shadows.

Dense Forests at Dusk


Right before the sun decides to go to sleep, something awakens within the forest...my imagination. It really just goes nuts in forests at this time of day. I don't know what it is, but I start seeing some crazy stuff. It must be the shadows or the sudden lack of light that messes with my logical side. Also, the slightest crunch of a leaf will send me into a coma.

Water Levels in Video Games 

Pinnacle Rock Eels from The Legend of Zelda: Majoras Mask
Clanker from Banjo Kazooie
Eel from Super Mario 64
When these levels came up, I skipped them and handed the controller over to a brother. I couldn't take it! It goes along with my fear of open water. I just hate not knowing what's going on in the water and not being able to move as fast. I feel trapped, hindered, caught by some force that I have no control over. Oh, and it doesn't help that water animals creep me out too. THOSE EYES!!!

Mannequins


Since I mentioned eyes, mannequin eyes have to be the creepiest. Actually, mannequins in general are the worst. Whoever decided that making something that looks almost human was a heck of a psycho. Fred on I Am Legend only made it worse...



Slappy from Goosebumps: Night of the Living Dummy


So this guy kind of goes along with my fear of mannequins. Things that look like people, but are far from looking like any person I know of, is nightmare heaven. The uncanny valley can be a crapper... I've always tried to make Slappy some sort of joke in my head, but it never works. You could never get rid of him in the movies either! It's horrible. His voice, his eyes (I have a thing for strange eyes), the way he moves...it's already giving me Goosebumps.

and finally

Taking a Shower in an Empty House...at Night

I think we can all agree that this applies to everyone...not just grown men like me.

*This will be a growing list as time goes on and as I start remembering old scares.

Friday, May 9, 2014

A Note to My Wife

Well, it's that time of year again. I thought it had passed with Christmas, Valentines Day and the Anniversary ...NOPE! Mother's Day is just a day or two away (depending on when I finish this) and I have yet to do something like I did with the other holidays. So, part of this holiday will be to make a lovey-dovey message to my wife about her being the best mom and wife ever.

This message is long overdue, mainly because I am a procrastinator and also because I can't express my feelings in the spoken word...I'm worthless when it comes to the sweet-talk. So I have come to the conclusion that this will be not only something for Mother's Day, but for many days to come. Something for my wife to know that I dearly love her, more than video games (crazy, I know), more than music, more than my brothers (probably crazier) and more than my parents. All of which are the things I love most in my life, but they don't come close to what I feel for her.

It's weird...
Love is a strange concept. I don't get it. Especially when it's directed to only one person. I mean you go through life being influenced by so many different people, movies, TV shows, games, books, etc. and they all say exactly how it's supposed to be, but what they don't inform you on is how your experience with love will be completely different than all of those.

Before going into a relationship with a significant other, I always thought you just needed to wait until something happened between the two of you. Like all of a sudden a magical fairy would tap us on our heads and we would know that we were destined for each other. BAM! Just like that! In love, married and already having babies out the wazoo because of our intense love for all things lovey!

No
Dumb
Stupid
Not Realistic

...and I'm glad

I am seriously blessed to know that love isn't as it was in my mind. It's much more than just a little magic. It definitely comes out of nowhere...but there's something that builds gradually. A common attraction between the two, and a wanting for qualities in what the other has and the other lacks, is something that started to grow within me.

Being outgoing is not my thing. Being spontaneous is not my thing. Loving someone is not my thing. Those were things that I wanted, though. I longed to find someone who could fill in my gaps. I wanted someone who could not only deal with my strangeness, but who would embrace it and wanted to know about all of my oddities because trust me...there's a lot.


I mean, there's some normal to me...

and I'm somewhat interesting...


Ha, who am I kidding! I'm like Mr. Darcy!
And it has plagued me for as long as I can remember
I always thought these things would inhibit me from ever meeting someone that would get me. It frightened me because I just didn't like doing things like everyone else, and that kept me from being truly happy.

I remember sitting at the piano bench after every institute class and playing a couple of songs because I didn't want to talk to anyone just in case someone needed to hear some sweet tunes. Never once did I think it would lure a potential victim into the "Weird and Often Dull Life of Spencer Hon".

Well it did and it ended up being my wife.

Being a complete noob to the whole relationship thing, I kind of just went with the flow. She was a pro though and wanted to move things along...I didn't get the hint.

Did I like her? Of course! I couldn't go one second without finding a way to be around her! But taking that next step was so foreign to me. Had I done it once before? Ya. This was different though. Chelsey was a pro, but I couldn't just let her work her sweetness on other peeps.

I could see it in the other guys' eyes that they wanted to be around her too. I mean, who wouldn't?! She's outgoing, spontaneous and loved people unconditionally, something most guy's lacked and I was definitely one of them. So I had to work my way into her life. I had to be everywhere she was, I had to get to know her family, her friends, her wants and desires. I didn't just want to come into her life and then throw that friendship away like I've done so many times with other people. Once I started to do those things, all of a sudden I felt different...I was in love.

AND IT FELT GOOD!
Holy crap! Where did that come from!?? I mean I gave her cookies at institute and I got really mad when other people wanted them (THEY WERE ALL HERS PEOPLE!!!) I dressed up as an old guy for Halloween with her... and then she ended up breaking my cane I used, (with said costume) while trying to keep my CTR ring away from me (meanie). I played Super Smash Bros. with her bros and wanted to destroy them every time! We belted Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC in the car after we picked up some Lil' Caesers. We went to the Temple religiously (get it...cause it's a religious thing to do! I crack my self up.) And we went on a road trip and sat RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER FOR A TOTAL OF 24 HOURS! All of this happened before we even started dating. Maybe that's where this love thing came from. By the time we started dating, I couldn't separate myself from her. My love was all hers.

Then things just started happening after that, like this...
It was a lot slower than this, like snail slow, or molasses,
or waiting for a snowbird to pull out of a parking spot type of slow.
...while watching this
Ya, we're not weird.
And then this!...
So romantic!
...after eating this.
So good tho!
And finally, I did this!...
So classy!
...after hiking a mountain and feeling like this.
So sweaty!
It all just happened pretty quick. I didn't plan it that way, it just sorta happened. Soon enough we were married and life hasn't stopped being crazy since.

Chelsey will probably never hear me say things like this because frankly, I can't talk. I don't know how to say stuff when it needs to be said, and if I do end up saying it, she already has fallen asleep. I freeze up and try to act cool by saying things like "You're funny!" or "You're awesome!". Those get tiring pretty fast. So this is my love note to you mi esposita. 

I hope you understand my love for you, not only as my wife, but as the mother to Brynlee. You're the best thing she has. After not seeing her for a while, she always gets the biggest smile on her face and it lets me know how much you mean to her. I know you would do anything for her and I'm grateful that you have learned how to be such a loving parent from your own parents.

There's nothing that could stop me from loving you and I couldn't be complete without you. Even though I don't tell you nice things all the time, get you stuff normal guys get their wives (flowers, jewelry and the such), take you to fancy restaurants or pay attention to everything you say (hey, I'm an airhead), I will always love you more than you could ever know. I won't show it by doing the fake stuff. I'll always be studying you (creepy right?), thinking of ways to help and serve you. I'll still be quiet, standing in the background, wanting to say the right things at the right times... In the end, I'll still be like Mr. Darcy.



I love you Chelsey Hon
You're the best Mother and Wife anyone could ever ask for.

Happy Mother's Day!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Music Fascination

For as long as I can remember, I've always had this fascination with music. Really, sounds in general. I don't know what goes on in my brain, but when I hear a good beat, tone, lyric, riff, whistle, clap, or even a scream...something happens. There's this voice in my brain that says, "Keep listening." I'm just going to throw this idea out there that it has something to do with my upbringing and a few musically defining moments.

Music has always been a part of my life. Growing up, my brothers and I had this sweet radio that could play both AM/FM, sound off an alarm to wake up for school AND tell the time! Revolutionary stuff, right? The actual cool thing about it though was that we never turned it off. It would play music all day, every day. My first memories of listening to the radio was Disney Radio. I know....kiddy stuff, but it was actually not that bad back in the late 90's. Now they only had like 5 songs they would play....and I bet I can even name them off: Eiffel 65 - I'm Blue, Hampton the Hamster - The Hampsterdance, Kenny Loggins - Christopher Robin, Baha Men - Who Let the Dogs Out, and my favorite VENGA BOYS - WE LIKE TO PARTY. Man, I loved that song. I would come home from school and wait in my room until that song would play and then proceed to dance around like a professional break dancer.
Untouchable skills
I was awesome. ANYWAY, that's what started it off. From there I remember a lot of other music that my parents would listen to. My mom likes Country and 80's pop and my dad likes Smooth Jazz, Classical, 60's/70's pop, some 80's Rock and Michael Jackson...like a lot of Michael Jackson (my sister says Michael Jackson is my dads "Favorite Boy!",....so rich). My ears got the full treatment! I would listen to my moms stuff in the summer as we drove around to our various activities and I would listen my dads stuff in his computer room and when he drove us to soccer practice. It was really a good mix of musical cement that helped to set a foundation for my fascination of music.

I just kind of thought this was the best.

Once I started liking girls, (it took me a while, I blame Pokemon) I felt the need to listen to whatever they were listening to. That meant A LOT of Backstreet Boys and 'N SYNC. They would have posters of Justin and JC taped on the side of their desks. Pictures galore of Nick Carter and Brian Littrell plastered all over their notebooks. I NEEDED TO LISTEN TO THESE GUYS!!! Sadly, my first album wasn't of a cool rock band (my second one was, but still), it was of 'N SYNC's debut album that I got as an Easter gift. I would listen to that Every.Single.Day. It was that good. I sound like a complete girl, but I wanted to know what made these guys so special! My brother got the Backstreet Boys debut album as an Easter gift as well and we would take turns putting our CD's into the chinsy boom box we had that needed something on top of it to keep the CD from popping out. To this day I still know the lyrics to most of the songs from both albums. I'm a little rusty, but hey, it's been like 15 years.

From there I built on my musical library with Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory for Christmas of that same year. Now Linkin Park is completely different from anything that I had heard up until that point in my life. I asked my parents for it because my friends were listening to it at the time, but I didn't really know what to expect...and I don't think my parents knew either. When I got it, along with a sweet new CD player, I was hooked. I think I broke my CD player because I listened to it too much and brought it with me everywhere I went. Linkin Park became my favorite band and Meteora, which was also from Linkin Park, became my favorite album of all time. I still stand by that, even though it's hard to fight for. Linkin Park has grown into something completely different than in their early years and I just don't even care for them at all. The sweet mix between Metal and Rap was SO beautiful in its beginnings. Some of their songs are very radio friendly/cheesy, especially their singles, but most of it is actually amazing.

Even Brent Rambo approves of Meteora! (whoever that kid is)
This musical period in my life would soon end though since Linkin Park became super mainstream...and who likes mainstream stuff? Apparently not me. So I moved on to other things and found a gold mine in the "70's, 80's and Today!", a.k.a. 98.7 The Peak. 98.7 was an amazing radio station in the Phoenix area that played everything I loved about music. Something about the 70's and 80's music just made sense. From the time I entered High School and until I graduated, 98.7 became the new Disney Radio. All day, 'Er day. I was in love with bands that my parents grew up with and found it hard to understand why anyone would ditch the synth. The freakin' SYNTH! Ya, I just don't get it.

Feel it baby!
Music back then just had a different feel. It actually made you feel things that most music nowadays doesn't. I can't listen to a Justin Beiber song and think, "Hey, "Never Say Never" would have been awesome at the end of a Back to the Future movie." My brain just gags itself and says, "Sorry, that does not compute." Or what if we swapped "Don't You (Forget About Me)" from The Breakfast Club with a Miley Cyrus song. Gross. I can't take it. There's just no feels in this new stuff. Sometimes I feel like a huge hipster when I shoot down some of this new stuff coming out, but I actually love a lot of new bands and songs. I just don't like a lot of what most people like...is that hipsterish? Does it have something to do with most songs being lyrically emotionless? Probably. Lack of synth? Mos Def (cool guy). Is it the heart? Maybe. I can't really explain what it is about most songs on the radio these days, but it just doesn't sit well with me. There are definitely exceptions (songs in Just Dance are my weakness), but I find it hard to sit through an entire mainstream Taylor Swift song without cringing.

What I want to know is what happened to this stuff on the radio?


Instead we get stuff like this.

I...
WHAT HAPPENED!!!????? Really? My ears just can't take it anymore. It's hard to find people that have the same music interests as me now because this (I'm looking at you One Direction) has happened. I've heard that they are this generations "'N SYNC" just like 'N SYNC was my generations "New Kids on the Block". You just can't compare them though. I like both New Kids on the Block and 'N SYNC, but the bands now just don't care any more. Maybe they do and I'm a horrible person for thinking that. I'm telling you though, something happened between the 70's and today and I don't like it.

I digress, what has happened has happened. I hope kids today go through a process that I went through. Being exposed to as much music as I was has made me who I am today. Those songs that I remember have influenced the music I listen to today because, weirdly enough, there's that same kind of vibe being given off. I can hear it in bands like Bombay Bicycle Club and M83. I can hear it in the soft Rogue Wave songs. I don't know if mainstream will ever become what it once was, but man do I want it back...my fascination with music needs it.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

It's a gamer kind of thing.

Not me, but close enough
From the time I was born until the present day I have been gaming. I mean really, I was practically given a controller at birth. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t enjoying video games in my life and I don’t ever expect it to go away. It’s part of who I am. And in this time of play there have been many a games that have graced my path through life. Some have impacted me more than others and every once and a while I go back and play through them. Whether for nostalgia’s sake or just for the fun of it, those games are a blast every time I play them. Within recent years there have been a huge lack of games that have made that lasting impact on me. I don’t think it’s just because I’ve gotten older and more mature, but I think it’s just the lack of quality and originality that’s being put into these more current/mainstream games.

To start, I’m a Nintendo/PC guy. The NES was the first console my family owned and I can’t deny that it is my favorite console. I have grown so very fond of that piece of hardware over the years even as newer and beefier consoles have rolled out. I still own one to this day (as to it being the original I owned, I don’t know, but I’d like to think it is) and it’s still kickin’ it 23 years later! Iconic legends like Mario, Link, Samus and Donkey Kong all came out of this era along with so many more. To me, these legends mean more to me than some real people. If they disappeared I think I would feel a void in my being. Like some had been deleted from who I am and I don’t know if I would be able to replace it because they mean that much to me. It’s sad, but oh so true. Video games have had that big of an impact on me that if one of video games’ most loved characters left I would probably go nuts and throw a tantrum of confusion.

Kinda like this, just not knowing whether to shove a splinter up my finger nail or to slam a book  on my pinky toe. That kind of confusion.

I’ve always said video games are analogous to a good book, cartoon, TV show or movie and I still hold true to that statement. What would happen if, out of nowhere, Harry Potter never existed? What about Darth Vader? The Simpsons? I’d even go as far as, dare I say it, Mickey Mouse? These icons of our life have been engraved into what our society is today. I’ve never met someone that has never heard of the The Lord of the Rings. Never. Now has everyone read the books? Nope. Now I’m going out on a limb here and say that over 80% of the people that have heard about the books or have seen the movies have never actually read the story. I’m one of them, and yet everyone knows about the little hairy-foot boy who had to take the ring that made you invisible to the volcano to be destroyed. That kind of, “Oh yeah, everyone knows about that, who doesn’t?”, kind of stuff is what I’m talking about. If Mario never was a part of my life, it’s like all of that stuff was never a part of anyone’s life. Boom. Take it!....Ok, well you don’t have to, but just think about it for a sec.

That’s a long description to help people understand the scope at what I’m talking about here. This is a big deal for me. Now let’s proceed to what I’m trying to get at.

Video games are awesome. Pure and simple like peanut butter and jelly, just awesome stuff. It’s what I do to release myself from the day to day stuff and delve into a different world for a bit. Not that I don’t like this world we live in, but that it’s fun to imagine a world slightly different than our own. Imagination, I feel, is key to living an enjoyable life. It’s one of life’s greatest treasures and one of our minds greatest tools. In a video game you can use your imagination to its full potential. I remember being a young lad playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and thinking, “Man it would be awesome to be a turtle that fights bad guys with a nun chuck, while eating pizza!” No way in heck would that be something I just thought about if I would’ve just stuck to playing with some dirt outside. I mean that’s some pretty cool stuff! And I was 4!...maybe 5! Still, after so many years, that imagination has stuck with me. As video games have gotten better looking due to graphic improvements and have gotten larger as consoles and PC’s have become more powerful, the immersiveness (not a word) of video games have only enhanced that imagination.

The past couple of months have been a trial and error period with some games I’ve played. I don’t remember it being this hard to find a game I liked back in the day, but it’s been difficult. Some I’ve stuck with for the story and others have become a quick fix for some fun. But what has been the most enjoyable out of all of these has been a game that many have called an utter failure due to the disgusting amount of bugs and problems found within it. It’s been panned by others as being too cliché of the RPG genre and it has also been called a sellout to the casual gamer. In all honesty, I love this game. I have seen nothing but pure geniusness put into this game and I have never had a dull moment. This game is The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
What this game has done for me is similar to games of the past. It has somewhat of an Ocarina of Time/Halo CE/ Splinter Cell/ Metroid Prime/ Mario 64 and, which is a given, Morrowind feel to it. It’s just pure game playing bliss. The soundtrack alone can put you into a joyful baby coma. I just get swept away by its moving melodies and haunting Nordic chants. The first time you step out into the world of Skyrim the screen melts your brains capacity to believe. “Can a game be this beautiful?” your eyes ask and your brain responds, “Si señor”…well at least mine does, it’s bilingual. I wish I could describe in a written form how amazing this game is. It would take me days to explain the intricacies of what makes this game so enjoyable to play. Really it’s the little things that pop out at me as being a masterpiece. I’m one that pays attention to the little details of games and this game takes the cake. The cake of “OH MY LANTA THIS GAME IS BEAUTIFUL!! LOOK AT THAT BUTTERFLY, IT HAS ITTY BITTY DESIGNS ON IT THAT LOOK LIKE CHRISTMAS!!!”. It’s a great cake indeed. Real talk though, this game is great. I hope everyone can play this game that likes to be alive.
This is what it feels like to play Skyrim when dragons appear.  You just gotta book it brah!

I know I said that I’m a Nintendo guy and explained to you what those Nintendo characters mean to me, but I also said I was a PC guy. There are some magnificent games on the PC that have done to me what Nintendo has done to me. Skyrim is one of those games. It being a more current game also makes this even more important. I said at the beginning that there is a lack of quality games in the gaming market and there definitely is. In my book of video game greatness though, Skyrim is easily in the top 10. Will I spit out those other top 10 at this time, nopers, but I will in the future. This post was just to get my creative juices going and to show that I kinda like video games. Would some people say I’m obsessed, most likely. Do I think I am, nah. The stereotypical gamer doesn’t really line up with who I am. I play for enjoyment, imagination, for the untainted happiness of what my childhood consisted of. It’s that pure joy that brings me back to gaming. To me it’s a perfect blend of all things pertaining to entertainment. I would never put it in front of my own relationships with the people I love, but I would never bury it and let it rot like a forgotten carton of cottage cheese in the back of a backup refrigerator in a musty garage. Like I said it’s part of me and every now and again another fire is lit within me to continue playing and Skyrim has done just that.
Fur reals, play it
“Forget that it’s a video game, that this is an entertainment experience of virtually unlimited possibilities. Where it’s there for you to take it where you want to go and as you do those things it will surprise you and reward you for what you’re doing.” – Todd Howard on the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim


<!--[if !supportLists]-->-          <!--[endif]-->I’ll probably talk more about my experiences with Skyrim in the future. This is just a, how I feel about Skyrim and games in general, spiel. Thought I should just get my ramblings out now before I forget them!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Beginnings

The start of a new blog is always difficult for me. I always have a lot of topics I want to discuss, but in the end I find myself stuck on a specific topic. With this blog I'm going to try my best to talk about whatever I feel like! It will mostly consist of my current musical interests, video game mumbo jumbo, computer jazz, maybe some sport stuff and possibly a plethora of information about things I love. I'm excited to put some stuff out on the weberooski about the ramblings I have in my brain throughout the day. They're usually pretty interesting (at least I think they are), so hopefully other people like them too! Lets just hope this blog doesn't end up like my other blogs...