Friday, May 9, 2014

A Note to My Wife

Well, it's that time of year again. I thought it had passed with Christmas, Valentines Day and the Anniversary ...NOPE! Mother's Day is just a day or two away (depending on when I finish this) and I have yet to do something like I did with the other holidays. So, part of this holiday will be to make a lovey-dovey message to my wife about her being the best mom and wife ever.

This message is long overdue, mainly because I am a procrastinator and also because I can't express my feelings in the spoken word...I'm worthless when it comes to the sweet-talk. So I have come to the conclusion that this will be not only something for Mother's Day, but for many days to come. Something for my wife to know that I dearly love her, more than video games (crazy, I know), more than music, more than my brothers (probably crazier) and more than my parents. All of which are the things I love most in my life, but they don't come close to what I feel for her.

It's weird...
Love is a strange concept. I don't get it. Especially when it's directed to only one person. I mean you go through life being influenced by so many different people, movies, TV shows, games, books, etc. and they all say exactly how it's supposed to be, but what they don't inform you on is how your experience with love will be completely different than all of those.

Before going into a relationship with a significant other, I always thought you just needed to wait until something happened between the two of you. Like all of a sudden a magical fairy would tap us on our heads and we would know that we were destined for each other. BAM! Just like that! In love, married and already having babies out the wazoo because of our intense love for all things lovey!

Not Realistic

...and I'm glad

I am seriously blessed to know that love isn't as it was in my mind. It's much more than just a little magic. It definitely comes out of nowhere...but there's something that builds gradually. A common attraction between the two, and a wanting for qualities in what the other has and the other lacks, is something that started to grow within me.

Being outgoing is not my thing. Being spontaneous is not my thing. Loving someone is not my thing. Those were things that I wanted, though. I longed to find someone who could fill in my gaps. I wanted someone who could not only deal with my strangeness, but who would embrace it and wanted to know about all of my oddities because trust me...there's a lot.

I mean, there's some normal to me...

and I'm somewhat interesting...

Ha, who am I kidding! I'm like Mr. Darcy!
And it has plagued me for as long as I can remember
I always thought these things would inhibit me from ever meeting someone that would get me. It frightened me because I just didn't like doing things like everyone else, and that kept me from being truly happy.

I remember sitting at the piano bench after every institute class and playing a couple of songs because I didn't want to talk to anyone just in case someone needed to hear some sweet tunes. Never once did I think it would lure a potential victim into the "Weird and Often Dull Life of Spencer Hon".

Well it did and it ended up being my wife.

Being a complete noob to the whole relationship thing, I kind of just went with the flow. She was a pro though and wanted to move things along...I didn't get the hint.

Did I like her? Of course! I couldn't go one second without finding a way to be around her! But taking that next step was so foreign to me. Had I done it once before? Ya. This was different though. Chelsey was a pro, but I couldn't just let her work her sweetness on other peeps.

I could see it in the other guys' eyes that they wanted to be around her too. I mean, who wouldn't?! She's outgoing, spontaneous and loved people unconditionally, something most guy's lacked and I was definitely one of them. So I had to work my way into her life. I had to be everywhere she was, I had to get to know her family, her friends, her wants and desires. I didn't just want to come into her life and then throw that friendship away like I've done so many times with other people. Once I started to do those things, all of a sudden I felt different...I was in love.

Holy crap! Where did that come from!?? I mean I gave her cookies at institute and I got really mad when other people wanted them (THEY WERE ALL HERS PEOPLE!!!) I dressed up as an old guy for Halloween with her... and then she ended up breaking my cane I used, (with said costume) while trying to keep my CTR ring away from me (meanie). I played Super Smash Bros. with her bros and wanted to destroy them every time! We belted Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC in the car after we picked up some Lil' Caesers. We went to the Temple religiously (get it...cause it's a religious thing to do! I crack my self up.) And we went on a road trip and sat RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER FOR A TOTAL OF 24 HOURS! All of this happened before we even started dating. Maybe that's where this love thing came from. By the time we started dating, I couldn't separate myself from her. My love was all hers.

Then things just started happening after that, like this...
It was a lot slower than this, like snail slow, or molasses,
or waiting for a snowbird to pull out of a parking spot type of slow.
...while watching this
Ya, we're not weird.
And then this!...
So romantic!
...after eating this.
So good tho!
And finally, I did this!...
So classy!
...after hiking a mountain and feeling like this.
So sweaty!
It all just happened pretty quick. I didn't plan it that way, it just sorta happened. Soon enough we were married and life hasn't stopped being crazy since.

Chelsey will probably never hear me say things like this because frankly, I can't talk. I don't know how to say stuff when it needs to be said, and if I do end up saying it, she already has fallen asleep. I freeze up and try to act cool by saying things like "You're funny!" or "You're awesome!". Those get tiring pretty fast. So this is my love note to you mi esposita. 

I hope you understand my love for you, not only as my wife, but as the mother to Brynlee. You're the best thing she has. After not seeing her for a while, she always gets the biggest smile on her face and it lets me know how much you mean to her. I know you would do anything for her and I'm grateful that you have learned how to be such a loving parent from your own parents.

There's nothing that could stop me from loving you and I couldn't be complete without you. Even though I don't tell you nice things all the time, get you stuff normal guys get their wives (flowers, jewelry and the such), take you to fancy restaurants or pay attention to everything you say (hey, I'm an airhead), I will always love you more than you could ever know. I won't show it by doing the fake stuff. I'll always be studying you (creepy right?), thinking of ways to help and serve you. I'll still be quiet, standing in the background, wanting to say the right things at the right times... In the end, I'll still be like Mr. Darcy.

I love you Chelsey Hon
You're the best Mother and Wife anyone could ever ask for.

Happy Mother's Day!